College Application Essays that Never Got Sent

I was cleaning out some old high school papers when I found this paper, as follows:

Create an acronym that represents your life. What is it, and what does it stand for?

BLARGH. B=braggart L=loser A=arrogant R=rude G=gloomy H=haughty

Imagine you are the offspring of any two famous people. Who are your parents, and what qualities have they passed on to you?

One of my parents is some famous writer. Yeah. The other one is a person. A famous person named Saddam Hussein. From the famous writer, I would get writing skills, and from Saddam Hussein, I would get power and such and such. I would produce propaganda that is capable of brainwashing the world and making all bow to my greatness.

Driving into downtown Chicago, there is a building visible from the Kennedy Expressway adorned with a mural of well-known Chicago personalities. If you could paint anything (other than your own likeness) on the building, what would it be, and why?

I would paint a piece of sushi, because it is yummy. It would look so real that sushi lovers from all over the world would try to eat it, but they would chip their teeth on the cement wall. Heh, fools.

In the spirit of Northwestern's trandition of collaborative learning, please provide us with an original essay topic or short statement you'd like to see on next year's application.

What is your name? and why is it ugly?
**The last part in red was added by my brother.